


Humany-Wumany

by sonictrowel



Series: Long Night in the Blue House [24]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Humor, Innuendo, Romance, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-03
Updated: 2017-04-03
Packaged: 2018-10-14 13:38:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10537608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sonictrowel/pseuds/sonictrowel
Summary: The Doctor woke in the brilliantly shining night of Calderon Beta, stretched out on the TARDIS-blue bedroll with River sat beside him.  She was turned away, looking out over the water, one knee slightly raised and her chin resting in her hand.  The crisp, crimped fabric of her sandy robes fluttered in the wind like the yellowed pages of one of her ancient texts.But she was nothing that some dusty book could contain.  She was real here, alive.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Clearly don't listen to anything I say about when I'm going to be updating this again. Cause here we are.
> 
> Short chapter that nevertheless has two very different parts with very different moods. It gets pretty meta in the second half, so, enjoy that I guess.
> 
> Your comments are so wonderful and so appreciated!!

The Doctor woke in the brilliantly shining night of Calderon Beta, stretched out on the TARDIS-blue bedroll with River sat beside him.  She was turned away, looking out over the water, one knee slightly raised and her chin resting in her hand.  The crisp, crimped fabric of her sandy robes fluttered in the wind like the yellowed pages of one of her ancient texts.  But she was nothing that some dusty book could contain.  She was real here, _alive_.

“River,” his old, young voice said.  

She turned to face him, a soft smile on her lips.  She was so warm against the cool white starlight, like earth and sandstone and sunshine, like the golden glow that had once rippled around them as she kissed him back to life.

“Hello, love,” she said as she leaned over him, her voice like honey.

The Doctor reached a hand up, brushing his thumb over her cheek.  “River, Mils has gone.”  He stared urgently into her eyes, and saw the bright flicker of recognition light up her face.  

“You know,” he breathed.

She nodded slowly, brows drawing together as she smiled down at him.

“Did I tell you?  Or have we— has she—”

“Spoilers,” she said, her voice choked and quiet, but still smiling.

“Are you happy?” he asked, hearts pounding.  “I want so badly to tell you, River, I _hate_ not telling you, and you deserve to know—”

“I _am_ happy, darling,” she said, eyes glittering and lip trembling slightly.  “What about you?”

A little laugh escaped him and he rose up on his arm, shifting to sit in front of her.  He clasped her hands in his.  “Yeah.  I really am, honey.”  He shook his head, still in mild shock and disbelief, as he grinned at her.  “Probably be scared shitless if I found out the right way round— well, might still be.  But god, she’s great, isn’t she?”

River beamed at him.  “She is.”

“Takes after you,” the Doctor said, gazing at his wife in complete adoring wonder.

“Naturally.  But quite a lot of you, too.”  She reached out and stroked his cheek with the backs of her fingers.  “It’s so strange, talking about her with your baby face.”

“Oh, right.  I guess it would be.”  He scoffed bitterly.  “Probably would’ve been rubbish with a kid.”  

“I disagree.  You’d have been wonderful, and you are, and you will be.”

She leaned forward to embrace him, but it was a bit awkward with him cross-legged and her on her knees, only her arms and his shoulders really touching.  That wouldn’t do.  She made a little sound of surprise and amusement as he grabbed her bottom and pulled her into his lap.  And then he was cradling her and looking down at her gorgeous, smiling, still slightly teary-eyed face, and suddenly his own vision was blurring and he _had_ to kiss her.  

She was warm and perfect, just as always, her soft lips and hot mouth eager against his, her hands sliding into his hair, and he was so dizzyingly in love.  When his cheek brushed against hers, they were both cool and damp.  Slowly, reluctantly, he broke away.  

“Kissing and crying,” he whispered.  “How very humany you’ve made me, River Song.”

When she smiled, her eyes shining with adoration, he knew she understood just what, and how much, that meant.  Before River, he couldn’t even have imagined the deep contentment of being devoted to another person again, bound together.  To have complete mutual trust, and a sacred promise he would keep all his lives.  And then to share a real life, a home; to belong and never want to run.  To be a family.

These things were too human, too real, too terrifying and wonderful for the lonely madman in a box.  And it was all because of her.  He could never, ever express how grateful he was.  But there was one thing he could do.

“We’re going to be together,” the Doctor whispered against her lips, punctuating it with a lingering kiss.  “I swear to you, River, I’m going to figure it out, and we’ll all be together.”

“I know you will,” she said, her voice firm with conviction and trust in him.  “I know we will.”

___

Oh, also, she was trying to kill him.

That could be the only explanation for it.  Because somehow when it came to the novel-writing, for which the Doctor had quite enthusiastically volunteered to be her (completely unqualified) editor, the chapters she gave him were… not as expected.  She’d left him to read on the sofa and gone into the kitchen to make the tea, and when she returned he nearly jumped out of his skin, quickly dropping the pages in his lap and covering them with his hands.

“River,” he said, his voice coming out a bit scratchy.

“Mmm?” she said as she sat down beside him.

“This is not a mystery novel.”

“Well, no.  I tried, but I just couldn’t get into the right mindset for it.  They say write what you know, though probably not meant quite so literally as Melody Malone… but there’s not much mystery in my life right now.  —Which is not a bad thing,“ she added.

“Right, but… _what is this?_ ”

“A romance novel, obviously.”

“I’m not sure romance is the word.”

She laughed that wonderful throaty laugh, only he was very aware that it was _at_ him.

“Oh, darling, you _can_ still blush!”

Judging by the temperature of his face, that comment did not improve the situation.  She burst into another bout of laughter.

“But you can’t— you can’t publish this!  It’s not even just... _general_ … things,” he choked, his voice lowering to a loud whisper, “this is _us_ things!  I remember this, exactly!”

“Well, that makes two of us, honey.  It was quite memorable.”

 _“Riveeer,_ ” he whinged, immediately realising that his Bow Tie was showing.

“What can I say, sweetie?” River laughed.  “You inspire me.”

“Well can’t I _inspire you_ privately?

“Oh, yes, please.”

He huffed.  “River!”

“No one’s going to know where my _material_ comes from, you ridiculous man,” she said, lightly swatting his shoulder.  “Honestly, we’ve been married a very long time, honey.  It would be pretty hard to come up with scenarios that have never been ‘us things’ at this point... unless this became another kind of book entirely.  I think if you stray _too_ far beyond handcuffs it’s no longer considered ‘romance.’”  

The Doctor groaned and dropped his head into his hand while River laughed at him.

“I’ll use a different pen name.  Most romance writers do; can’t _imagine_ why… and it’s not as if I’m sending this one to my mother to publish.  There’s no one we need to keep from reading it."

 _Oh, fuck._ He hadn’t even thought of that.  Mother or daughter, which was worse?

“Couldn’t you do more of the, you know, grand gestures and visiting scenic places and whatnot?" he ventured, trying not to sound too desperate.  "That’s romantic, you said so yourself.”

“And expect them not to shag after?  Not very realistic.”

He huffed again, his face still hot.  “Well it could just be _implied.”_

“That’s no fun at all.  You can’t just leave all that unresolved sexual tension hanging in the air.  Believe me, I've some experience in just how _very_ frustrating it is.”

He coughed.  “Sorry.”

“You’ve made it up to me,” she replied happily.

The Doctor sighed.  “Can you please just… use a less obvious pen name.”

“I can do that.   _Now,_ if you’re done being silly, tell me what you think.”

“What, about the—” he gestured to the papers in his lap.

“You’re my editor, aren’t you?  What’s your opinion?”

The Doctor cleared his throat and held her gaze sceptically for a moment, making sure she wasn’t just having him on, before picking up the papers again.

“Well, it’s.  It’s,” he cleared his throat again.  “I mean, it’s, uhm.”

“Romantic?”

“Well, yes.  Once I get past the… mortification.”  He dragged a hand over his face.

“And?”

“And… and… what?  You’re a very good writer, River.  I told you as much.”

“That’s sweet, honey, but I need specifics to work with or I’ll have to find another editor to chat with about all the… details.”

The Doctor scowled.

“Here, why don’t you take the scene from the top, and tell me if you have any thoughts while you’re reading it,” she said, picking up her teacup.

He shot her another wary look, but finally turned his eyes back to her chapters.  A charged silence filled the room, interrupted only by the quiet sounds of River sipping her tea and the occasional turn of a page.

The Doctor noticed he was sort of fidgeting unintentionally, and when he swallowed, it sounded far too loud in the silent lounge.  He glanced at River and she wasn’t looking at him, but she had one of those little smiles on her face.  He frowned and returned to the reading, increasingly finding it difficult not to squirm in his seat and definitely feeling his ears burn.  And then— oh, no.

He abruptly dropped the papers into his lap again.

“Finished?” River asked, still with that little smug half-smile as she put down her teacup.

The Doctor made some kind of grunt in response.

“And?  Nothing this time either?”

Oh, there was _something._

“I thought it wasn’t going to be Melody Malone,” he grumbled.

“It’s not.”

“Sounds just like her.”

“You mean like me?”

He made another affirmative noise.

She grinned wickedly.  “I’m actually going to change all of that.  I just wanted to see if the scene… works.”  She glanced pointedly at the papers he had hastily thrown over his lap.  

The Doctor scowled.  “So?” he bit out gruffly.

“So, I know how _you_ work,” River said fondly, “you sentimental idiot.”

His scowl didn’t immediately cease, but while the eyebrows were staying in place, he couldn’t hold back a smile.  They stayed locked in a heated stare for a few moments before he threw the papers into the air and threw himself at her.


End file.
